Toronto. Three day convention. Whiskey..... damn. It is great to be back home to my creature comforts. Ill try to get back to you peeps later tonight, but no promises. A little Percocet with a Walkers chaser, and Ill be a new woman.

Many thanks to Brochy boy for giving me a voice in cyberspace. After signing 200 non-disclosure agreements and taking a blood oath, here I am. I have been silently stalking, I mean following, this website for just about a year. Broch and I knew each other for years and years and made an attempt at a relationship last year after his bitch of a wife left him. Sorry, I know I promised to be nice. I even promised to quit using 2 for to, b for be, well, you get the picture. I fucked up my chances with him quite badly, and was surprised that he would even speak to me. I love this boy more than chocolate, and would love another chance with him, but friendship is all he seems to be able to offer to me anymore. I am happy to have that.

Now that you know how I got here, I'll tell you a little about me. My name is Andi Thomas. I am 34 years old and live in Normal, IL. I work in the medical field over in Champaign, IL. I am an utter and complete freak, and have learned to accept that. I stand at around 5'10 and weigh in at a fit 135 pounds. Dark brown curly locks fall to my shoulders past my baby blues. Boys, I stay in good shape so don't even think of messing with this one. I have been a Tai Chi practicioner since I was 17 years old. I.will.kick.your.ass. What else do I have to share? I have 3 piercings below the neck, 4 tatoos, 1 kitty cat, and 1 bitch.

If any of ya have questions or wanna talk, Im at andiluvs69@hotmail.com. Yes, I do.

Hey Troll, don't think that you are oh so wise. Pretty much all I need to do is forward your comment on to your ISP, and your ass is done for. Hey Pam, I bet this IP Address shows up frequently on your server, please let me know.

Reverse DNS Lookup
IP Address 142.227.223.130 resolves to:
sph-130.sph.EDnet.NS.CA

To prevent myself from burning out completely and losing my mind, another guest blogger is going to be writing here for awhile. For those of you who have been around awhile, you will probably recognize her name, Andi.

Andi is an old flame of mine and we escaped with a really cool friendship. She has begged and begged me to let her do this ;-). So, without further interruptions, have at it Andi....

I was asked a really great question a few days ago, and I have been trying to answer it for myself ever since. I was asked why brochspot.com exists and what purpose it served for me. I think that maybe brochspot.com has possibly outlived its usefulness. I think that most of you know that I began blogging to help deal with what I was going through with my divorce, and it was a great cathartic outlet for me. My good friend "Minjo," who has guest blogged here before, was the person who got me into this whole thing. Both of us found ourselves at the ends of our respective long term relationships within a week of each other. That really has nothing to do with my recent quandry, but it is a little history for all of you.

Why do I still write here??? I honestly don't know. The only thing that I can think of is that Brochspot.com has had a breath of life blown into it and it is now a living breathing entity that draws its lifeforce from me. I don't really know though, and I have really begun to question the need for another person on the internet spewing forth his opinion and feelings on a regular basis. I don't need affirmation from the people that visit here, I am a well grounded person who is comfortable where I am. Although my buddies have accused me of it, I CERTAINLY don't use this website to try to pick up on the chicas, if anything, it has driven many away.

Ill be deciding over the next few moths what to do with my space here, if I am going to continue to do anything with it at all.

Think that all is well with Military Intelligence??? HA!!! What a joke!!! A really nice person sent me a little snippet of info that I thought I should pass on to you all... They are charging our wounded soldiers $8.10 for food consumed in the hospital during treatment and recovery... What kind of bullshit is that?????

My dear friend and highly respected co-worker Crutch pulled his gloves off and gave the most honest review of blogdom in a response to one of my recent posts. I normally don't go quoting other bloggers, but this needs to be published everywhere in blogdom. These words are harsh, and I am guilty of many of them. We all are. If we don't think we are, we are lying to ourselves.....

Here are Crutches words....

I love the internet world of blogs. A place where people can be so destructive and critical of others ideas and personality’s with zero consequences. It’s like group therapy without a moderator getting paid $180.00 an hour. No rules and the gloves come off rather quickly when things don’t go so well.

First off everyone knows that my posts for the most part reflect my 16 year old inter-self. Bevis and butthead if you will. That’s ok.
I don’t pretend to be anything else on the internet other than a moron. Most people who display themselves on the internet have an agenda. Some are Goth, some are gay, some are feminists some are liberals or conservatives. Rarely do I see anyone saying anything at length that isn’t contrived and agenda oriented.

There are some real people out there and there are a few artsy people that I feel are genuine “print, photo, video, cartoon” on the internet, but they are the exception not the rule.

Bob Curtis said that the internet is the printing press of the people and boy is he right. That’s the beauty of free speech and this medium.

The other side of the razor is bloging also clearly reflects how people have little patience for others with differing opinions and the ones with patience only hold their tongue if you play by their rules and stay pc..

Lots of people pretending to be something that they wish they were in real life is the #1 theme of the bloging community in general.

Am I any different? Of course not. If you worked with me at corporate America you would have no idea what a goof ball I really am. Insecure you ask? Of course most of us are but I don’t pretend to be anything other than my self..A fool.

A blog is a small window that most people open up in a voyeuristic attempt to be considered normal..Even by a stranger..

My final thought.......A blog is like the first day of school in grade school. Everyone is cool and everyone gets along because they don’t know you......... when the make their determination if they like you they still don’t know you but in cyber space at that point it’s usually too late.

Crutch

Im on a road right now that seems all too familiar. It isn't of any life altering importance, but I am saddened a little by it. At least this time I recognize it for what it is and can put it to bed without a struggle.

G'night

I read an interesting CNN article today stating that sleeping position reveals personality. Those of you who have been fortunate, or unfortunate as the case may be in sharing a bed with me, could testify to my sleeping style. EVERYWHERE! If I am in the bed, I OWN the bed. I am the bed frickin' MASTER!

The closest position mentioned as to the way that I sleep is as follows:

The freefall, flat on the tummy with the hands at the sides of the head, is the most unusual position. Only 6.5 percent of people prefer it and they are usually brash and gregarious.

Me? Brash and Gregarious?? When people are born, they come with a filter of sorts in their brains that keeps them from saying inappropriate or non-PC things. "They" forgot to give me one. If you love me, you love me becase of it, if you hate me, the same goes true.

As if this week wasn't hard enough, this morning we get news that Johnny Cash has passed away. The Apple Music Store has been taking some of my cash today, as there were two songs that I felt were imperative to download. The first one was Hurt, ala Johnny Cash. It is the song that I felt was so appropriate for this week in general. If any of you, for whatever reason have not heard it, I think that you need to hear it today in any way possible. It is a song that is oh so appropriate in this current climate, for myself at least. I have been bombarded by every extreme in emotion this year. This has left me numb. I don't know what to feel or even how to feel anymore.

The second song, not even by Johnny Cash, was "Fragile" by Sting. As I sat listening to this song, that I had literally not heard in a decade, an episode of "21 Jump Street" came to mind. In the episode, "Doug" went to Central America to rescue a woman that he was in love with, only to see her die. Life is truly a fragile gift that was given to each of us.

On a much more personal note, I received a very troubling email yesterday at work. There is an awesome couple that works for the same consulting firm that I do. Their names are Jen and Paul. Jen and Paul have two children that are very very ill with diseases that afflict 1/40,000 and 1/3,000,000 individuals respectively. I don't have the names of the diseases at hand, but I will update this post later today with the details. Not that it matters in the least, but one of the children is a boy and the other is a girl. Included in the email is the information that their daughter has been granted a final wish from the "Make a Wish Foundation." I don't think that I need to further explain the gravity of her situation. I feel incredibly helpless, and I don't know what to do. God, there has to be something.

"Knuckledragger" aka Doug, that is listed in my A Thee Blogs list on the left there, is very close friends with the family, and Ill try to find out more information from him as it becomes available.

Upon entering the world of blogging, it is imperative that you learn the culture and etiquette of this realm.

For many of us, we write here what we would normally write in a personal diary, but we choose to share our experiences with any who care to read. Unfortunately, many of us have found ourselves self-editing out of fear of the repercussions that this may have on our personal lives.

Personally, I share many of the things going on in my life, but I choose to leave most of my private details to my offline diary. Yes, there are some of you out there who are privy to more of my personal details, because we have developed a relationship in which I feel comfortable sharing them. If you are one of these people, you know it, you don't need to guess about it at any point. If you aren't one of these people, I'm sorry. If you aren't, and want to become one of them? Try sending an email once in awhile, or pick up the telephone. Please don't expect that after a handful of emails that I'll bring you into the "Inner Sanctum." I don't work like that.

I think that it is all wrapped up quite nicely in the movie "Chasing Amy," during a discussion between Jay and Silent Bob. Jay assumes that he knows all of Silent Bob's life secrets and he retorts with a brilliant statement: "Bitch, what you don't know about me could just about fill the grand fucking canyon." I don't intend that statement in that form to be a message to any of you. My readership is a GREAT group of people. Sure, sometimes I say things that may shock some of you. For what it is worth, this blog is who I am. It is my insane crazy rants. It is my inner fears. It is my sobriety. It is my drunkenness. It is my neurotic episodes combined with mind numbing reality.

Thanks for being part of my readership. If you come away from here with a little more insight, a little entertained, or have a mind that is open enough to share a new perspective, I have done my part.

Goodnight.

This is the last three day weekend that I am going to be having, for awhile at least. Back to work as usual tomorrow.

Autumn is nearly upon us here in the midwest, and it is a truly splendid time here. The days shorten up, cool off and become ever so beautiful as our trees are painted with a beautiful glow.

Some of you may think less of me after you read this post. I am writing it not as a political statement, rather as a catalyst for thought which is apparently needed in the cyberworld.

The world that most of my audience lives in is a very soft and cushy place to live in. The world that you are all enjoying right now is the way that it is because someone out there was willing to give their life to guarantee that you were able to express your opinions and your thoughts as you see fit. How do you show your thanks to them? You spit on their graves.

It is time to take evaluation of the umbrella of protection that we live under. If you were a resident of Tibet in the past thirty years, there is a once in five chance that you would have been killed by the Chinese army for your beliefs. This message goes to our Canadian friends doubly. You and your absolutely wonderful Country, I mean that seriously, live the life that you do because of our protection, real or perceived. Do you not think that we would intervene if a non-benevolent country came knocking at your door? Hell yes we would! Be a little thankful instead of asking us to change our foreign policy into something that would leave your country open to being taken over by someone else.

So my weekend doesn't begin and end with the same day everyone elses does... it sucks, it really does, at least for my social life. For other things, however, it is kind of nice. When I go to buy groceries? No lines. If I want to catch a Tuesday afternoon matinee? I have the choice of any seat in the house. Those Tuesday matinees, by the way, also give you the opportunity to bring your own HUGE bowl in and have them fill it with popcorn for a quarter.

Ever since I sold my house I have missed being a homeowner. I have been pouring over many house plans, magazines and books trying to decide what I want out of my next house. I have made a checklist of things that I will get out here later tonight.

I have been thinking about something for a few days, and it is finally starting to make sense. We spend so many hours of each day fighting and avoiding our demons. Why? I think that I am going to start turning around and grabbing each of them long enough for a dance. Why am I so afraid of them? They are as much a part of me as my hands or feet are.

I don't need to get away to find myself, of go to waldens pond. I am right here in the here and now, no more real in the woods or on a mountain top.

The "Mountain top" is a dream, a sham, even worse, a lie. It is the bill of goods that society has tried to sell us. It is the reason that Anthony Robbins is a multi-millionaire and the reason that people who attend his seminars are so willing to pay the exhorbant prices. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful motivator. He isn't, however, the solution.

Everyone out there, grab once of your demons and take it for a spin around the proverbial dancefloor. Get to know it a little better, then find out if you actually want it to be part of your life anymore. If you do, great! Just know the pros and cons of it. If you don't? Curb check.