Out of Normal: Afraid to close my eyes...

April 15, 2003

Afraid to close my eyes...

Why this is happening to me, I don't know. Someone very close to me recently shared with me that she often has horrific nightmares. I seem to have taken on this trait myself, and I am absolutely terrified to close my eyes again. I have fallen asleep twice tonight, only to be awakened by extremely frightening nightmares. These aren't the ones that children experience that send them crashing through parents doors. These are nightmares that attack the very core of my self, and come after me in a way that only my darkest personal demons could.

I had forgotten some of my fears and insecurities, and would love to send out a huge thank you to my subconscious for completely crippling me at the moment. I am not a small guy, and have not feared anything or anyone for many years. I am literally terrified to fall asleep. I have some things that I would like to do anyway, so I can keep myself busy.

Posted by Broch at April 15, 2003 01:20 AM

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It's your consumerism soul trying to get some attention. Go buy a couple things and you'll feel better in the morning.

Posted by: nose at April 15, 2003 09:24 AM

:-( I'm sorry you're having nightmares. I don't think I've had many of them... maybe one or two in my entire life... and they were the kind that made me afraid to stay awake in the real world. I hope you find out what they mean and what's causing them; then you'll be halfway to getting rid of them.

Posted by: April at April 15, 2003 09:42 AM

I am today experiencing a wonderful and certain peace that transcends my understanding. To put my mind more at ease, I went to work out and went swimming late last night. I have been able to work out today what was going on in my head, and actually figured out what the worst of the nightmares was about. I guess that I have a hidden insecurity that I hadn't given any credit to because my heart and mind both know that it isn't a problem. Damn that subconscious.

Posted by: Broch at April 15, 2003 03:54 PM

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out a way to send my subconscious on wild goose chases. When it starts to encroach on my space, I send it one way and I go the other.

Posted by: C. at April 15, 2003 05:22 PM

I still can't sleep in the total dark. Pitiful. Broch, all your dreams should be sweet ones.

Posted by: pam at April 15, 2003 10:31 PM

I can't sleep in the total darkness either, my children used to make fun of me. Thank goodness this behavior did not rub off on them. Imagine the "other" wanting all lights off and you tell them, I really want this one on. As a child I used to have this one reoccurring nightmare, it was a ball of fire following me and would disintegrate anything in its path. As a child when scared you run to people you know. And guess what always happened, the fireball.

Posted by: C. at April 16, 2003 06:18 PM

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April 15, 2003

Afraid to close my eyes...

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